Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
