Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
