What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
