Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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