You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
