help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
