There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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