You're completely useless in the revolution.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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