dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
