I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize