No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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