I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
