I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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