I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
