Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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