The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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