its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
