Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
