brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
