I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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