I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
