so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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