everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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