but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
