I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
