Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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