i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
