you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
