I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
