that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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