I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
