You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
