Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Found your dick twin last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize