So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
