So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
