Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
