it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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