lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
