My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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