Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
