Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
