Please, let me fuck your mom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
