I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When are your genitals available?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
send nudes
from the living room?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
