Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
