2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
