Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
