Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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