Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my poor anus
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
