Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
