i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
