at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
