do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
